Just to See You Smile
by ninjatomomi
Summary: Gilbert would do anything for Matthew, anything in the world, just to see him smile that beautiful smile. Based off of the song by Tim McGraw.


Just to See You Smile

"Gilbert! Look at that one!" He called to me and pointed at the window.

"Which one are you pointing too?"

"That one right there! Next to the silver chain." He tapped his slender finger against the glass at the one necklace that he wanted. I briefly looked at it. The necklace was silver with a single silver feather as its ornamentation. It truly was beautiful and it sparkled as the fluorescent light from the mall and the store shone upon it.

"Matthew…doesn't it look expensive?" I asked, tearing my eyes away from the beautiful piece of jewelry. He continued to look at the necklace, his face losing that bright charm it normally held.

"Yeah…I wish I had the money to buy it…The job just doesn't pay enough though." He finally tore his gaze away from the window and looked towards one of those large, leafy, potted plants that were all over the mall. Together, we left the window of the shop and continued walking around the mall. He looked so incredibly sad and I felt the need to say something to him.

"You know," I turned and looked at him as we walked "you always did like things that glittered in the sunlight."

Light laughter filled my ears and he began to look a little bit happier. Some of the bright color returned to his face.

"Yeah…I guess I have a taste for fine things."

We left the mall shortly after that. All the way to the car I pondered his words. "_I guess I have a taste for fine things_." Did that mean he thought that I was fine? I mean we hung out all the time in high school. Even now we do. But still, me? I wasn't fine. I couldn't even hold a steady job and I never had enough money…so did he really mean it?

I had met Matthew when I was a sophomore in high school. He was just a freshman at the time. He never had any friends and when I first met him, he was alone on the steps outside the back of the school. If I remember correctly it was lunch time as well. When I laid my eyes on him, I knew that he was one of the most beautiful things that I had ever seen in my life, only second to me of course.

I sat down next to him, startling him, and I started talking, not even giving him a chance to make me go away. I think at first he thought I was strange but over time, we became inseparable friends. It was during my senior year that I knew that I had fallen in love with my best friend. However, I knew that I would never be able to tell him for I was afraid that it would ruin our friendship. Even now, seven years after we first met, I still haven't told him my feelings. I don't think that I ever will too. What would I do if he rejects me?

"Hey Gilbert," I looked over at Matthew. We were sitting together at an outdoor café close to his apartment, having lunch. It was near his place since the area around mine was pretty sketchy. He had a small salad and I had a sandwich.

"What would you say if I told you that I was leaving this city and moving to a different place?"

I looked at him, suspicious of why he was asking me this. I noticed that he was avoiding eye contact with me and looked somewhat sad and unsure.

"Well, first I would ask you why the hell you would be moving and then I would tell you to wait for me."

Matthew's head snapped up and almost all of the sadness disappeared.

"Oh…uhhh…Well I got a better job that pays more but it's on the other side of the country. I'm moving in about a week. I wanted to let you know so that it wouldn't be a surprise for you. I'm sorry…for not telling you earlier."

He looked back down at the ground. I could tell that he was unhappy about leaving me. After all, I was his only friend.

"Don't worry Matt!" I gave him my best smile. I didn't want to see his dejected face any longer. I needed to see him smile. "I'll quit my job so that we can go together to this new place. It'll be fine."

For the second time in a matter of five minutes, Matthew looked up from the ground. "B-but Gilbert! I don't want you to quit your job for me! What happens if you can't get another one?"

"Like I said, don't worry about it. I'll manage. I've done so already."

I watched as Matthew's face lit up and radiated like the sun. Of course I wouldn't tell him that I would follow him to the ends of the Earth if I had to. I loved him and I wouldn't want to leave his side by any means. Anything that he wanted I would do for him, anything on the planet. It was my love for him that made me want to make him happy, all for him, just to see him smile that smile that could light up even the darkest of nights. I would never think about the consequences of my actions, it was all worth it in the long run. Just for him. Just to see him smile.

I walked with Matthew through the local park. Together, we sat on a nearby bench, enjoying the calm scenery together. I looked at my friend sitting there gazing up at the clouds. His eyes shone with happiness and he seemed just so…so beautiful. I could feel his calmness spread over to me and I began to think about what we've been through since we came here.

We've been living in this new city for about three months. Mattie and I got our own apartments, just blocks away from each other amazingly. After his work day was through, I would visit him. I would walk from the warehouse where I worked all the way to his building, a good fifteen blocks, but it was ok. I would suffer through any amount of pain, just for him.

I had a harder time getting a job than Matthew, since we moved there for his job, but it didn't really matter. I was able to find a job working and delivering packages for companies in one of those brown trucks from a warehouse.

I heard my friend sigh contently and my thoughts snapped back into the present. I remembered that for the past few days, I had been thinking of whether or not I should tell Matthew of my feelings. When he looked over and gave me his beautiful smile, I knew that I had to voice them out now. I stood up and walked over to look at him in the eyes.

"Gilbert!" His calm face contorted in to one of worry. "What's the matter? Are you feeling alright?"

"Matthew…I really need to tell you something." My voice suddenly became softer than usual.

"Tell me what Gilbert?"

I gently took his hands into mine and looked up into his eyes.

"Matthew, I-I love you. I've loved you for the longest time."

"Wh-what?" Matthew's face reflected his confusion.

"I love you. I love you so much. I can't stop thinking about you. Your eyes, your smile, everything about you."

"I-I don't know what to say Gilbert…I need time to think about this. Th-that's all I need. Time."

He looked down at the ground and I caught a glimpse of tears flowing down his beautiful face. I got up and walked away from him as I knew he needed his space. It hurt so much to see those tears, more than leaving him there alone on that park bench.

I met up with Matthew yesterday at the local coffee shop. As I waved him over, I noticed that he had brought this other man with him. He ran up to me and introduced me to his new boyfriend. I believe his name was Alfred. He looked like a good man and it was then that I realized that what Matthew wanted wasn't me, it was him. I felt my heart break and shatter into a million pieces and yet…I could only think of him and his happiness.

As we ended our time together, I turned to my dear friend and told him that I was happy for him. Happy that he had found someone who loved him as much as he deserved. He smiled that truly stunning smile at me and thanked me for understanding. I got up and left Matthew and his lover at the café. I had to get away. I couldn't sit and watch the one I loved with all my heart be with another man.

Looking back now, I knew that if I had to, I'd lie again. Just to see him smile.


End file.
